We have a new case study that we’re able to share, highlighting the real difference our home visiting support model can make. We hope it gives some insight into the journey of one of the Mum’s we have supported and shows all that she’s been able to achieve with the support of her volunteer. We’ve added it below so you can have a read – as Mum says, it has turned her life from feeling ‘isolated and stressed’ to ‘bright and happy’.
Sophie’s Story….“It was the best thing I’ve ever done”
It was suggested to me a couple of times that I might benefit from having a Home-Start volunteer, but I just didn’t like the thought of someone coming into my house each week. I thought it might feel awkward and just another thing on my plate, so I kept saying no. But things were getting harder and harder at home, and I wasn’t in a good place. I wouldn’t let anyone in my house, I ignored any of the post coming through the door, I barely went out or picked up calls on my phone. My gas had been cut off for two years and I was living without hot water, it meant I was boiling the kettle to get a warm bath for my child. It was a dark time for me, I was struggling with debt alone and lived with the curtains closed in fear of bailiffs coming round. The situation made me feel isolated, depressed and stressed – rock bottom really. And then someone suggested again the idea of a Home-Start volunteer and this time I felt like I didn’t have anything to lose – I said yes. It took courage at the time, but with hindsight I think it was the best thing I’ve done for myself and my family.
I remember the day of my volunteer’s first visit, I was so nervous and set about trying to clean the house, I was scared they might judge me and my home. I already had some social anxiety so the thought of having someone inside my house felt a lot, overwhelming to be honest, but I knew it was something I needed to do. And like most things, it wasn’t as bad as I had feared in the end. Pretty much right away I felt relaxed with Carol, my volunteer. She was easy to talk to, didn’t feel judgy and was interested in me and my family. The conversation flowed well and as we got to know each other, each week I would talk and confide in her more. I started to look forward to her visits, which was a real surprise to me and not how I thought things would go. I found that when she was around, I had more time to talk about my worries and I felt supported. I started to confide in Carol about my debt and even admitted that I had a drawer full of letters that I hadn’t opened since I’d lived in my property. I’d been burying my head and didn’t feel I could cope with what was in there. Together, we started to tackle it all and face my debts head on. It was hard, but such a relief. With Carol by my side, I felt like I could start to speak to some of the companies that I owed money to. Carol didn’t do it for me, but she did help me plan it all out and she sat next to me while I did it. If it all got too much on the phone, she sometimes took over to explain things, especially in the early days when I needed more help. But slowly but surely, I felt more confident and my weeks started to feel a bit easier, I felt some of the darkness start to lift. Each week, just before Carol left, we’d put together a plan for the following week, so I had something to aim for. It took a while but over time we worked out all of my debts, and we managed to get many of them reduced. I’m now in a place where I’ve paid most things back and I have a clear plan of what I need to cover each month.
We didn’t just look at my finances, Carol supported me as I moved house and we also went out for visits with my children, so we got out and about more. On one of these visits I spoke to Carol about my health and how I was feeling mentally. I found putting my health concerns into words very difficult, but Carol took the time and listened to me. She suggested we wrote it down as I found it hard to keep explaining the same thing at the Doctor’s each time I contacted them. I found that draining and it put me off from reaching out for the help I needed. Carol helped me to write it into a letter and then we sent that to the GP surgery so they could keep it on my file. That meant I didn’t have to repeat the same thing each time I contacted them and since then I’ve had a referral and diagnosis, something I wouldn’t have achieved if Carol hadn’t had that idea and helped me to do it.
Carol visited me for over a year, and things have changed so much for me and my family since she came into our lives. Now my curtains are open every day letting the sunlight through, my bills are getting paid, I get out more, my children are thriving because I am feeling better in myself and I have more headspace to support them. I feel like I have some control back in my life and I’m not living in fear and my wider family have really noticed a difference too, my relationships with them have also improved. I can see the difference in myself and I’m proud of how much I’ve moved forward. It was a real high to take my children on their first ever holiday recently, something that felt unachievable a year ago.
My volunteer told me she could see a difference in me each week and that really built my confidence. One week I had an unexpected letter that threw me a little bit. I spoke to Carol on the phone about it and she reassured me we would address it when we next met. By the time she next came to visit I had sorted it myself, I’d phoned them and resolved the issue on my own. And that’s how it is now, I feel I can do things for myself and keep a hold of things, without Carol sitting by my side. I really believe she was my guardian angel, and we were meant to meet. Home-Start matched us so well and I’ll always be grateful for the support they showed at a time in my life when I really needed it.
Now, I miss not seeing Carol on regular basis but I am enjoying my life, my children are doing really well and the future looks really positive. I’ve gone from feeling isolated, depressed and stressed, to bright, happy and in a routine that works for me and my children. I would say to anyone in two minds of whether to have a volunteer, go for it, I don’t regret a thing and only wished I’d done it sooner! *Names have been changed to maintain confidentiality